no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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