I think I died a long time ago.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
