He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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