Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
