The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
