my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
