We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
