seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
