you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
