you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
