i don't like sucking hair
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
