11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
