Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
