Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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