That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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