we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
