I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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