hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
