moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he shaved USA in his pubs
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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