Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
