The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
