A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i wish my penis had a tongue
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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