well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
