Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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