we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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