Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
