I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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