he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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