i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
