Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
