My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize