mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
