Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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