I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
