Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
