she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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