This girl is more easily done than said...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
