I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
