I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize