I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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