God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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