i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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