Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
