they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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