so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
