Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This house was built for laser tag.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
