had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
