So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
