i jhust puked up my retainher.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
