its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
