Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
