Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
