Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize