This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she told me i tasted like america
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
