I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
