Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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