Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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