Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
