I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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