Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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