Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
