i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
