It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
