I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
