I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
