It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize