Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
