I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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