haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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