we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
