I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
