If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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