I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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