You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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