I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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