Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
