I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize