I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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