i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
