Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize