WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
