Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
can u get pink eye on your cock?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
