Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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